My character, Maggie, is writing poetry again!

Editor’s note: The poems shared here are written by the main character in my novel, Perfection. Maggie provides an introduction, as well as where the poems appear in the narrative of the novel. Even if you know nothing about Catholic ritual, I hope you’ll understand her arousal of senses and desire to be ‘in charge.’

Chapter 3, page 32

My first Vespers and Benediction in the Convent! The chants, organ music, shimmering candlelight…. I started writing this in my head during my first day, remembering Church ritual when I was a child, as a way to explain to myself why I felt instantly at home here.

Ritual

The priest in purple vestments sweeps down the aisle

along the cold tile floor warmed by candlelight

and hanging chandeliers. The air is sweetened

with the scent of incense. Ancient organ music

vibrates through the massive pipes. I feel it

underneath the hardwood floors. And through my frame,

my schoolgirl’s throbbing heart beats with my fingers

tapping the rhythm on the polished pew.

Tantum ergo…chants the choir. I intone

the rhythmic verses, Latin rhyme. The chanting

stirs me, carries me above the tile,

the wood, the filmy light. I am a visitor

in a world reserved for mystics, saints, the chosen.

Setting sun bleeds through the windows stained

with mysteries. Rays reflect the gold procession cross

swaying slightly in the altar boy’s tall grasp.

I want to be that boy, robed in black cassock,

vested and trimmed in white starched ruffled surplice.

I want to be the server swinging the censer,

brassy smoke over filmy stone and marble.

I want to make the Holy even holier,

purify and cleanse, hold the sacred Missal

for the priest, balance the golden candlesticks,

light the candelabra with the long brass wick.

I want to pour the water, set the banquet,

ring the bells, shine the consecrated chalice,

smooth the altar linens and beaded vestments.

Insignificant in my pew, silenced, dreaming,

alert, satisfied in this holy place,

I long to be the one to celebrate ritual.

Sister Clare Walsh, Postulant